Monthly Archives: March 2019

Suicide in a small town

  What do you do when someone you know is suicidal and the response you get from local healthcare is It’s a small town-we don’t want to get involved if we don’t have to”?

Ok- I KNOW this is controversial. I also know that many will say “It can’t happen here“. Or worse “Why did you interfere?”  I am also aware that by sharing my thoughts on this, I may be blackballing myself for life from Hubbs hometown.


“Joanie” and I 

No- I will not name places or proper names.

But you know what? If nobody talks about it, nothing changes!

When we moved to the country, I became friends with ‘Joanie’ (henceforth my friend will be “Joanie”) and later business partners for a while.  I always knew she was diabetic and had anxiety, but a  person who didn’t know her would never have guessed.

A number of years ago Joanie had some of her medications changed. In a matter of weeks she had lost a ton of weight and couldn’t focus on tasks for very long. Even more concerning was her hallucinations- She had begun believing she had just delivered twins and was  some very crazy thoughts about her hubby. She even offered to let me babysit!

I figured she would go for a follow up and her Doctor would notice something was off.

Another week goes by and Joanie is giving away things and saying “It won’t matter at the end of the week” and “I don’t need  it where I’m going”.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Warning Bells are going off.

I tried talking to her about it, but she quite obviously thought nothing was amiss. Her husband was indifferent to it all- (Theirs wasn’t exactly a stellar relationship)

So I did the next best thing, or so I thought. I called the local clinic. That’s where most of us who live out in the country go for routine bloodwork and stuff. I spoke to the head nurse, who also knew Joanie personally. I told her what I suspected and the response was

“We really don’t want to get involved if we don’t have too. We still have to live here.”

WHAT?????? Was she joking??

Nope- she really meant it. She was uncomfortable getting involved because of it turned out to be a false alarm, she would be very uncomfortable around town. This nurse also asked me if I had tried talking to her husband. Yep.

I explained that she had recently had some medications changed.. I even offered a solution- Couldn’t she call up Joanie and say something like “Gee, we dropped your last vile of blood, can you pop by real quick and let us take some more?”  My thoughts were if they could get her in there, they could evaluate her kinda on the sly.


But she did offer to send their secretary down to Joanies work to observe her.   To which I (probably snarkily) replied along the lines that plenty of people finish the days work just fine before jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.

I called back that afternoon, and was told that they didn’t have time for this and that she looked fine.  In no uncertain terms I let it be known that if something happened to my friend, that I would be shouting it from the roof tops and naming names.

Obviously things were not fine. 

The next day Joanie said it would ‘all be done by Friday’ and she was ‘only sorry to be leaving her (make-believe) babies behind’.  Only a couple days away.

So I took drastic  and probably unethical measures- I telephoned my personal Doctor and asked if I gave a name could she please look up that persons physician and pass the information along. I also shared my futile attempts in a small town to get her help.

Now- I knew full well at the time that there’s is DR/Patient confidentiality… But I was hoping my doctor would try anyway.

And my Doctor did.

Joanie’s doctor made some excuse to get her in… just in a nick of time it seems.  It was indeed the change in medications was causing her to lose weight and think irrationally. Joanie ended up in therapy for a bit, but eventually found her way back.

Me? Well- I was immediately taken to task by locals for ‘Sticking my nose where it didn’t belong’ and “Didn’t I know how much TROUBLE the clinic was in now???”

Like I gave a shit.  Suicide is rising in rural areas. There is always talk about speaking up if you think someone is suicidal.

Given what happened in this small town, I think there are many that won’t speak up because they have to live here. This has bothered me for years. We need to change that part of Small Town Mentality.  “Because we live here” is the perfect reason WHY we should speak up.

Personally I didn’t give a rip what anyone thought. Joanie’s life was more important than me being black listed.

Which I was. For YEARS.







Funky Monkey Peanut Butter Cookies

*NOTE- all my recipes are written with my sons in mind, who may or may not have the basics in their own kitchen or the general principles of cooking (anything!) IMG_5594

YES. These Funky Monkey Peanut Butter Cookies are the very same that Mama made on the farm in Buffalo Gals Mercantile  and sold to coffeeshops.

You will need:

1/2 cup Butter & 1/2 cup lard * 1tsp Vanilla * 1 cup sugar & 1 cup Brown sugar * 2 eggs * 1 cup Peanut butter         *3 cups flour * 1/4 tsp salt * 2 tsp baking SODA                                                                          Oven 350.   In a large mixing bowl beat until creamy  butter/lard and sugars. Add in eggs and vanilla and beat well.  Add in peanut butter and mix well.  Sprinkle salt and BS on top and mix in well. Mix in the flour.


I like softer cookies..  8 min is perfect.

Make balls about the size of a cereal spoonful and put on greased or lined baking sheets . Use a fork to push down a little and make a criss-cross pattern.

Bake 8 Minutes. Remove to rack to cool.  They will be a little puffy and soft. They will settle and be firm (not hard) when cool.




*You do NOT have to use lard (or Crisco) all Butter will be fine.  * YES– You can use all margarine. It makes a crisper cookie, so check them sooner. *  You do NOT need a mixer.  Do it  by hand- old school. * Doesn’t matter what kind of peanut butter- creamy or chunky. DO NOT USE alternative peanutbutters (like Sunbutter etc). They cook differently and require extra care *1 cup perfect size is the Dollar Tree peanut butter. No measuring. Just use it all. **Baking SODA is the orange box people use I their refridgerator for odor control  (Arm & Hammer- the guy flexing his muscle) *Vanilla is great, but they will taste ok without it if have none.  *I prefer lined baking pans. PARCHMENT paper… NOT foil, or butcher or waxed paper    **You know moms number.. she will make them for you if you ask**

**every thing you need can be found at the Dollar Tree. Right down to disposable cookie sheets.** (even Tupperware to replace the stuff you swipe from mom!)


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