Monthly Archives: December 2017
Thanksgiving through Christmas… a time of hi-jinks in some households… Oh wait! That’s MY house!
It all started waaaaaaay back in grade school.
My brother– who is older and wiser- was in the 3rd grade I was in 1st- Back then teachers asked kids what they were doing for whatever holiday it was (Easter, St Patty , Thanksgiving…) This particular episode it just happened to be Thanksgiving. His teacher asked the kids to find out what they were having for dinner… all afternoon Stace pestered my mom. Finally she said “Damnit! We’re having hot-dogs, OK???” – Which definitely was OK, since he loved hot-dogs. The next day at school the teacher goes around the room… one family is having turkey, another ham, one a roast…. and then she gets to my brother… and he cheerfully states “We are having Hot-dogs” … and she goes on. Not another word was said.
On Thanksgiving, we are all seated around the table, ready to feast and the doorbell rings- My mother answers the door and behold! The PTA is standing there with a Turkey and ALL the trimmings for the poor family that has to have hot-dogs. To say that my mother was a trifle embarrassed is an understatement.
And if you knew my mom, being embarrassed was the worst thing that could happen to her. She would have rathered the house burnt to the ground with everything in it, than have one of us shame her.
My dad hates (with a capital H) chocolate covered cherries. A fact I didn’t know until I was 20! When I was but a tot, my mom thought it would be funny to tell me that Daddy looooooooved chocolate covered cherries. She also knew that once I latched onto an idea- I would never let it go. For nearly 20 years I ritualistically bought my dad the dreaded cherries every single Christmas. And he would always dutifully open them and make a great production of eating one , and then putting them away. I had no idea he absolutely could not stand the until he told me in my 20’s!
Way to go mom! The gift that kept on giving….
My boyz- One was brains, one was brawn. Their playroom was in the basement. We had a storage place under the stairs- one year we hid all their Christmas presents in there. If the Brawn hadn’t acted guilty one day we would never have known they had been playing those presents for nearly a month! The Brain had found the presents and taken them all out of their boxes and had the Brawn flatten the boxes and the lift the toy chest on top of them. We took them away and told them ‘NO DAMN CHRISTMAS FOR YOU’ and made them watch from their room while we opened ours.. and then they got to come have their’s back!
The following year we threatened them with certain shortening of life if they pulled that stunt again…. We found a large box and wrapped it in the shiniest paper we could find and wrote The Brains name on it really big…. just for fun… ON Christmas Eve we told them if they even stepped one toe out their doors before we got up… it would be all over.
Not long after midnight we heard the pitter-pat of little feet… and waited.. a few minutes later we heard a loud WOMP! WOMP! WOMP! Hubby had put one tiny toy in that huge box and weighted it with rocks and wire so if it touched it would flip over. Startled, the Brain yelled “That’s NOT funny”!! and then laughed all the way back down the hall.
And yes there are plenty more tales!
Merry Christmas ya’all!